Friday I booked my flight to Biarritz and first night's accommodation. I set about organising my stuff and seeing what extra things I needed to buy. With a pot of Barry's tea for inspiration I set about writing lists of things to buy and borrow. I suppose these preparations should really have been frantic but really they were not.
Today dawned and P and I set off to the city to pick up some of the items I required. We had intended to walk to the city but as April showers were in full swing P decided to drive. Its a pleasant walk from our place through Sundays Well but P is not much inclined to the walk to the city. As we drove in, it struck me, that in a few short days I would have no choice but to walk through the rain to reach my destination.
Would I say that the reality of what I have committed to is dawning on me? No, I think I am fully aware of how hard it is going to be. Part of me feels that I am finally following through on something I had vaguely committed to. Sometimes I think we are too afraid to voice our dreams for fear of rejection, for fear that someone will tell us we are stupid to dream such fanciful dreams. Maybe it is something stamped out in childhood. You tell people that you want to be a model or an astronaut and they respond negatively, citing valid reasons why you can not achieve your dream. So maybe you are more cautious with who you share your hopes with, until eventually you come to a point where you never voice them out-loud again. And that is a tragedy.
Two views of dream-sharing resonate with me. One is the idea that if you say them out-loud then you are committing to them. You are staking your flag down saying this is the dream I want to be tied to. Maybe part of the problem here is that people have memories and even if your desires change their memories stay intact. I certainly know that sinking feeling when someone reminds me of some "mad" idea I had years back. The slight roll of their eyes and you make a mental note to keep your mouth shut next time. The second idea is that by sharing your dream you may be in fact diluting it and making it less. If you expend so much energy describing your dream well then maybe you will run out of steam before you even begin to take you first step on the road to fulfilling your dream.
A few years ago a friend of mine shared his dream with me and others. He had decided he was going to cycle around the world when he finished university. I, for my part, was amused by the thought, thinking it was a pipe-dream that had little chance of becoming a reality. Something discussed after a few pints of Beamish in the college bar. I'm sure he must have seen the look in people's eyes, that disbelieving look, the doubts. Yet he kept on with it. When everyone was discussing Master's courses he was adamant he would cycling the world. This May 15th, he will be completing the last leg of his journey, retuning after 18 months of circumnavigating world. Ferghal O'Nuallain's example of what can be achieved is an inspiration to me. So many times during the planning and discussions he could have given up, he could have let the doubts and the doubters get him down, but he persevered. He made his dream a reality and in the process inspired others, including me, to take on new adventures. Check out his and Simon Evan's site here http://revolutioncycle.ie
Hey O, I'd go along with dream sharing number 1. I always mention what my mad plan is to a few friends in order to add that extra motivation in getting off my ass to achieve it. However it didn't work for the marathon....yet :) I've a feeling it might not work for circumnavigating the world on foot in my retirement either :)) but who knows:) Big hugs as you arrive tonight and begin your little stroll x
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